Random Thoughts At Midnight

The following is a collection of observations, deep depression ramblings and other things from the depths of my mind at the wee hours of the night.

This was the first of my "dark writings" it is sporadic and probably only makes sense to me:

This one was next. I was having a lot of problems at the time about who/what I wanted in life and since I was abusing alcohol at the time...

I had a drunken dream one night about some really weird stuff so I wrote this. Although it is about a girl, a friend once read into it that it was about alcohol.

This one I am most proud of. It exemplifies the fact that I am screwed up and know it! It's called

Like I said most all of Random Thoughts At Midnight are from the darker side of myself back when I had more problems than I needed. No one needs to worry about me doing myself in. At the time writing was the cure. Take all of the emotion and put it on paper. Then the emotion is, for me, gone.

Not sure what to call this one, just more random thoughts.

A lot of the writing was from a time in my life when I was going through a lot. More than I realize I guess because a friend of mine was concerned that I might do myself in. For me it was just another two weeks of my life.


	Scott's Hardrock Cafe \| home All About... \| Random Rants \| The Early Bands \| Random Thoughts At Midnight \| Favorite Links \| Contact Us Random Thoughts At Midnight The following is a collection of observations, deep depression ramblings and other things from the depths of my mind at the wee hours of the night. This was the first of my "dark writings" it is sporadic and probably only makes sense to me: If murder were like suicide Wouldn't you agree Is it any better for you Or me... ...Terrorist in an airport Uzi running wild Proves he's a man By killing a child... And who will cry in the dark For the man in the iron mask... This one was next. I was having a lot of problems at the time about who/what I wanted in life and since I was abusing alcohol at the time... She will be there if I go My witch and desire She will be there for me Against me Hurt without reason Hope without cause Speech is useless Desire gone mad Fleeting moments of want Endless days of rage Notice my Ego Ignore my intent Find my Soul On a dark flight. I had a drunken dream one night about some really weird stuff so I wrote this. Although it is about a girl, a friend once read into it that it was about alcohol. She is there I bathe her in my sin She cannot resist my power She drinks from my vein The love/hate that pours forth She beckons my Soul With eyes of Lust She feeds my desire The cup holds the blood of my slaves They gave willingly She drinks insatiably He enters and is deceived The truth is there But he does not see Blood on the floor I pour My Soul cries for the torture that is Her love What remnant of spirit Would I give to hold What I cannot To be who I am not To have what I should not She is my Witch She is my Love Love is pain See the wounded child Pretty strange so far huh? This one I am most proud of. It exemplifies the fact that I am screwed up and know it! It's called The Mirror Crack'd There's a man I see Laughing at me Like someone told a joke He ruins my life Sleeps with my wife I wish like Hell he'd choke I curl up a fist I'm really pissed His eyes I'll leave all blacked With a deadly blow I strike my foe And then the mirror cracked Thought you might like that one! Here's another from the dark files... There is no love No word can hold my heart Who can possess my mind The one who cuts me The one who binds me She cannot love me It is forbidden But what price? How can reality be so blurred How can I retreat When life passes quickly Into the abyss And who the fuck Has the right to say When after it's done The sweat and lust remains While the intent and purpose fold She is Hell She is Sex She is Blood She is Desire She has no meaning to me To her I am dead To me She has passed the frontier What have I wrought With my hands of fire How can I be pure When the blackness consumes What I was What I am What I will be I am beyond I am the memory I am death I cannot live Like I said most all of Random Thoughts At Midnight are from the darker side of myself back when I had more problems than I needed. No one needs to worry about me doing myself in. At the time writing was the cure. Take all of the emotion and put it on paper. Then the emotion is, for me, gone. 17 December The sky outside is gloomy And reflects my inner self Cold Grey skies, Cold dead eyes Snow in my brain, Soul acid rain The mood today is sadness And mirrors my other self God denies, Children cries Hate in my heart, Tears me apart My soul is dark and empty No inner peace left for me All the lies, Black alibis Short is my breath, Come take me Death Peace evades me, Chaos invades me A stranger with my face Has taken my place Lapse into despair I no longer care Peace denied, Have I tried Does it matter anyway Not sure what to call this one, just more random thoughts. Wasted years, Childhood fears Dirty sneers, Bitter tears Run with shears, Mother hears Death nears, Too many beers Violent cheers, Tight little rears New York steers, Texas queers Grinding gears, Little dears Snide jeers, Perverted leers Child veers, Love sears Sometimes thoughts are short To gain the World and lose My soul Is not in my intent But when I view my life up close How can I not resent The useless energy spent Or Today I remember how lost I feel when you aren't here Then there are writings that would make good songs. Feel my breath on your skin Open your mind let me in Feel the mood of ecstacy Take another piece of me Raise my eyes See your face I fall from grace Trapped in Hell loving you My soul slowly expires The trigger pulled the hammer falls Straight jacket truth Padded walls Travel through time and space I fall from grace Soldiers dying in the field No tears for fallen foes The truth be known you're all alone Now who's the fucking clone Drop my head in sad disgrace I fall from grace A lot of the writing was from a time in my life when I was going through a lot. More than I realize I guess because a friend of mine was concerned that I might do myself in. For me it was just another two weeks of my life. Sometimes there's no way out Sometimes there's a shadow of doubt Sometimes there is no appeal Some wounds never heal Some days there's just the rain Some days just never ending pain Some days there is no deal Some wounds never heal Somehow there's always hope Somehow there's another straw to grope Somehow there is no appeal Some wounds never heal Some ways there is no love Some ways there's always someone to shove Some ways there is no deal Some wounds never heal Keep Checking Back